Ever have one of those days (weeks, months) where you can’t seem to catch up with where you’re supposed to be…chasing your own tail of sorts.
On days like those, parenting can be even harder. Let’s face it…what’s the REAL reason you are so far behind? YOU weren’t the one who needed an hour to eat half of a bowl of oatmeal. It’s not YOUR fault that the baby chose to blow out his diaper just as you’re headed out the door. The endless laundry isn’t even yours since you’ve been wearing the same peanut butter crusted shirt since Tuesday!
It seems that no matter how early or late we get started, the result is always the same…I am behind. I’m behind with laundry, I’m behind with cleaning, I haven’t caught up with friends in weeks, I can’t remember the last time I exercised, we’re always late getting places, I’m behind on planning for birthday’s and holidays…and “Thank You” notes have become a thing of the past.
So what’s the solution? No, really, I’m asking you…because I have no idea! What am I going to do when they start school? I swear all three of us will end up in detention for chronic tardiness.
I try to slow down so we can all enjoy the simple stuff and to be honest we just don’t plan many activities because I simply can’t handle the pressure.
I find myself saying “Hurry up, we’re going to miss ______!” (and kick myself for it every time). We ALL know that the phrase “Hurry up!” only makes children move slower…and what’s the point. We’ll still get to wherever it is we need to go and complete whatever task needs to be completed…eventually.
So why can’t I make myself stop stressing about getting things done and getting out the door?
Then there’s my drive to be Supermom…I know, I posted on this before…we’re all Supermom‘s in our own way, and I still believe that to be true…but I can’t help wanting to be the BEST at ALL of it!
I want to make and bake every cute and healthy thing I pin on Pintrest. I want my kids to actually eat the healthy stuff I make. I want to do educational activities with them everyday. I want to cuddle, snuggle, and giggle during every rainstorm. I want to be the BEST mom in the world…no, seriously…I want to win awards and trophies and stuff for my awesome efforts.
I wasn’t always this way. Something about having kids has brought out my inner “Monica”. I was more of a “Rachel” before kids. I was spoiled, messy, unorganized, and maybe a little self-centered. Now, I want things done a certain way and I want them done yesterday (Thankfully, I married a Chandler who continues to put up with me). Perhaps it’s because I’ve had to learn to adapt in entirely new ways as a differently-abled mom, but I suspect that I am not alone in my struggles and that many able-bodied mamas are experiencing a similar phenomenon.
For those of you who are not familiar with Friends (the greatest series to ever grace the TV screen) here’s how Wikipedia describes Monica:
“Neat Freak” Monica is comically obsessive about her apartment and loves cleaning (describing the dry cleaner as her Disneyland). This personality trait becomes exaggerated as the series progresses. Example of her maniac cleanliness are labeling cups, having sorted towels into eleven different categories (four mentioned being “everyday use”, “fancy”, “guest”, and “fancy guest”), and describing her new workplace as being “not just Health Department clean, but Monica clean.” She is also extremely territorial when it comes to cleaning, as shown when Chandler announced he’d hired a maid, and Monica snapped that she hoped he meant “mistress.”
Monica is highly competitive, allegedly throwing a plate in a fit of rage during a game of Pictionary. Also, during a game of Mad Libs, Monica dismissed Phoebe’s repetitive answers, claiming “rules help control the fun!”, causing everyone else to leave.
While I’m not that bad yet, I can certainly sympathize with a lot of the above.
Ever wonder why the series ended with Monica and Chandler adopting twins? Well the answer is simple, watching the character of Monica adapt to motherhood would not have been pretty. Seriously, after the first few weeks she would have been curled up in a corner chanting nonsense.
I wonder how I would have survived as a mom without my Monica tendencies. I know each new obsessive habit has evolved for a purpose. Without them, I may not ever make it out of the house in on piece, fully clothed, and mostly clean. I might not be able to accept the mama superpowers that I do indeed posses. You might possibly find ME curled up in a corner and chanting nonsense!
I have learned to embrace my inner Monica. Yes, I am what many might consider nuts from time to time, but I am also a functioning mother of 2. I am obsessive compulsive…about my kids…and I am an award winning mother in their eyes. What else matters?
If you were a TV character, who would you be? Has parenthood changed who you most identify with?