A Mama’s Evolution

20130828-132832.jpg

A MAMA’S EVOLUTION

In my youth, I loved to play in the dirt.
I wasn’t one to fuss with a dress or skirt.
I’d rather play pirates and climb big trees.
I beamed with pride when I skinned my knees.

I fell in love with the boy next door.
With my best friend, life is never a bore.
We settled down after a few years of fun.
Little did we know, the “fun” had just begun.

I traded my truck for a minivan
and our little family of four began.
We no longer watch football while sipping booze.
We now hush and smile as our babies snooze.

Today I wear the occasional dress
and sometimes cry when my house is a mess.
I’ve made new friends who giggle and play.
We squeel and sing the boogieman away.

We play in the dirt and climb big trees.
There’s often tears when we skin our knees.
My new friends sleep over every single night
and I’ll gladly trade rest for a pillow fight.

I’m still the same tomboy, I’ll never outgrow.
My minivan has all wheel drive, ya know!
I may have new gear and all new rules,
but this tomboy wears the most precious of jewels.

 How has motherhood changed you?

My Big Red Tryke

National AMBUCS, Inc. is a national charitable service organization whose goal is to create mobility and independence for people with disabilities.

The AMBUCS mission is fulfilled by members of local chapters who:

  • Perform Community Service
  • Provide AmTryke therapeutic tricycles to people with disabilities, and
  • Provide scholarships to therapists

For many, AMBUCS is a fun way to serve in their community.

This is my AMBUCS story:

I loved riding my bike as a kid. I went everywhere. I rode to see my friends, to the store, and to the park. When I became differently-abled, I had to give up my bike. For years, I longed for a fun way to exercise outdoors (other than horseback riding) and get from point A to point B without having to walk (my walking limit is 0.5-1.0 miles). However, the only adaptive bikes I knew of were handbikes for paraplegics. I could find nothing for a lopsided teen/adult with balance issues.

Then a few years ago, my dad noticed a group of differently-abled bike riders in a local parade and passed the information along to me.

The group was from our local AMBUCS chapter and the bikes were AmTrykes. All of the riders in the parade had been children, but I was hopeful and contacted my local AMBUCS to schedule a fitting with one of their volunteer Physical Therapists. I was the chapter’s 1st adult bike rider and with a little trial and error we designed a custom bike to fit my needs.

My family agreed to donate the funds for my bike as a Christmas present and I had my beautiful red tricycle before Santa even arrived.

My first set of wheels was an upright single-speed tryke. It was great for riding up and down the street, but I struggled with even the mildest of slopes.

20130820-154117.jpg20130820-154138.jpg

A few years later, my local AMBUCS chapter contacted me about a new recumbent 21 speed tricycle that they were offering. I was thrilled!

I was refitted for the new bike and traded in my original bike for the majority of the cost.
It was awesome to know my 1st tryke was going on to help someone else who had similar needs to mine. She was able to receive her bike faster because it required a discounted donation and was already on site and built.

My new 21 speed is AWESOME! It enables me to do things I never thought possible. I ride bikes with my daughter, I ride with my husband who tows both kids, I visit friends and family all over our neighborhood, and I ride to the pool. I go whenever and wherever I want. Total freedom while strengthening my body and getting a cardiovascular workout…something not easily obtained by many differently-abled individuals including myself.

2012-11-11 10.39.002012-11-11 10.39.35

AmTrykes offer endless possibilities for all ages and levels of ability and AMBUCS makes these trykes accessible to all through donations and fundraisers.

Want to get involved?

Find your local chapter

Donate to the national AMBUCS organization

Purchase products from Essante Organics to benefit my local chapter. 30% of all sales purchased from the link below will go directly to the Huntsville TN Valley AMBUCS chapter.
http://www.essanteorganics.com/HTVAMBUCS

AMBUCS is not just for adults! There are also AMBUCS Youth Auxiliary chapters made up of college or high school students that care about the AMBUCS mission.

 

 

A Year in Review

46673-1
Today is my son’s 1st birthday so I thought I’d share with you a project I’m working on…

For each of my kids, I chose a unique stuffed toy for them to pose with in their monthly pictures. As parents, sometimes it’s difficult for us to see the all of the slight changes as our babies grow through their 1st year. For me, this was a good reminder to stop and take note of how my babies were changing month to month.

Here are the monthly pics for my daughter’s 1st year (Warning: I am not a great photographer):


We made an iPhoto book with the pictures. Each monthly pic started a new chapter filled with special events and pictures from that month.

For the second baby we chose a more interactive toy with sentimental value…live and learn:


(I’m honestly not sure what I’ll make for my son to chronicle his 1st year…but I’m open to suggestions…hint, hint)

Obviously, I still have a lot more work to do on the second album, but I wanted to show you how unique the pics could be with a different child and toy. (I’ll try to replace the second album when I have a more complete version)

My daughter, the laid back one, was happy to stretch out next to her inch worm. My son, the non-stop mover, needed a toy he could play with. It’s kinda neat to look back and see so much of their personality even in those early months.

Here are a few of my tips for surviving  and sticking with this year long project…
Chose a toy that is sentimental.
Try not to worry about the perfect pose.
Let your baby interact with the toy.
Set monthly reminders on your phone…the date will sneak up on you.
Don’t worry if you miss the exact day. Leave yourself a week window to get the pic when baby is “in the mood”.
Make the pics and end project individual for each child.
Have fun with it!!!

How did you chronicle your baby’s 1st year?

WBW 2013: No Story Stands Alone part 6

Support-with-Integrity-Breastfeeding-Pledge-button-300x296

Jennifer P.

About a year ago I gave birth to my baby girl, Pearl. I had taken Bradley classes, read Le Leche League’s book and been to a Le Leche League meeting. I also had very good support from my mother, my father, my husband and my mother in law after my baby was born.

Even though no one in my family was familiar with breastfeeding, no one ever made me feel unwelcome when I would nurse my baby and everyone was helpful to me around the house.

I had a home birth so I didn’t have a lactation consultant available right away, but after 3 weeks of being in significant pain from a gash in my left nipple, I hired Tess Johnson. She was so amazing, she reassured me that my instincts are right to follow, that I had been doing a good job, and that there was a solution available for my injured nipple.

Since having healed from those early weeks, I have become an even bigger advocate for breastfeeding and the need for moms to have access to the right resources and help through their journey. I feel so blessed to have this bond with my baby through nursing and am looking forward to nursing her as long as she likes.

 

 

Valerie E.

I was unable to nurse my first baby due to lack of support, knowledge, and a monster infection. I was heart broken.

When my second child came along, I was very determined to nurse. I armed myself with a ton of knowledge from books, blogs, facebook pages, and classes. I enlisted a group of supportive breastfeeding moms and had a long talk with my husband. The hospital even allowed my BFF to come into recovery with me after my C-section and help me with my first nursing session with my LO.

My 2nd baby is now 6months old and she nurses with ease.

I am a full time working mom and, with support, I’ve even gotten into a successful pumping routine.

This go round has been wonderful because of the support of my friends and family.

P.S.

My MIL asks the baby if she wants “titty” and my 4 year old thinks she says “teddy”. So now when the baby is hungry, my 4 yr old asks the baby if she wants teddy. LOL. Everyone is very supportive. 😉

 

A huge THANKS to all the amazing mamas who hared their inspiring stories this week!

My hope is that you or someone you know who is struggling with breastfeeding or not reaching a personal breastfeeding goals will be encouraged by one or more of these stories and know you are not alone.

Seek support and celebrate your victories with others. I promise you are not alone!

 

WBW 2013: No Story Stands Alone part 5

3783371295_076beb0459

Tabitha B.

Strength, Endurance, and Support for All

Let me preface this with my story is not normal, nor is it common and it’s a bit long.

I am a nursery/nicu nurse with plenty of experience to feel completely prepared for what, I thought, was about to happen when I had my son. I knew what was normal, what to expect, and how to take care of newborns before I ever got pregnant. In fact, I may have taken care of some of your babies.

So let us fast forward a bit. My pregnancy was normal with no major complications other than major heartburn and being sick and nauseous all but about 6 weeks of it. I was so excited and happy that I was pregnant and going to have a little one that it was all worth it.

I chose not to write a birth plan because I worked with everyone that I would deliver with and they knew what I wanted. I ruptured and went into labor on my own at home and by the time I got to the hospital I had technically been in labor for 5 hours. Well, 18 ½ hours later, I quit making progress and ended up with a c-section. I was so upset and disappointed, which unknowingly would only be the first part.

I had a sweet little 7 lb 4 oz boy and was in love with him! He was perfect, had all ten fingers and toes and was doing great. Breastfeeding on the other hand was harder than expected.

He had difficulty latching and we ended up using a shield and things improved.

He started getting jaundiced. At 48 hours he had his Newborn Screening (PKU test) and Bilirubin level (jaundice) drawn. His level was at 9.8, I chose to supplement with a small amount of formula to increase his intake in order to increase his output to lower his level faster.

We discharged home after 48 hours instead of 72 hours and had our follow up appointment scheduled for the next morning, we were on track and everything seemed normal.

The follow up appointment went ok. He had lost some more weight and was more jaundice. The doctor ordered another bili level drawn, it was 15.

That afternoon we started home phototherapy, again another disappointment. The night went horrible! He started spitting up and had diarrhea , and at about 4 am it looked dark brown like it had blood in it. I called the pediatricians office as soon as it opened and got a same day appointment to go in. I was so worried and had cried on and off all morning.

At about 7:30 the home health nurse came and drew another bili level. We got the result right before we left to go to the pediatrician and it went up to 17.8. I, of course, was disappointed again. Meanwhile, I had still been breastfeeding and supplementing with formula.

We went to the pediatrician office and were admitted to the hospital for phototherapy, which is much stronger than home phototherapy, all I could do is cry. It seemed like everything kept going wrong.

I was ordered to breastfeed every 2 hours because my poor baby had lost more weight and was so jaundiced. The night went better in the hospital, we breastfed every 2 and supplemented, had several voids and a couple of stools. By the morning he weighed 5lbs 6 oz and his bili was down to 11, but he still remained sleepy and his skin had a greenish tint of residual bili. However, we were discharged at lunch.

We went home and visited with family. Feedings became more difficult. I couldn’t get him to hold anything down, breastmilk or formula, he threw everything up right after feeding. He became gray, had very little tone, and would not open his eyes. I knew where we were going next. I had my husband call the pediatrician to let her know what was going on. She told us to go to the pediatric ER, where I had already planned on going.

It was 6pm and we arrived at the pediatric ER, they were waiting on us from our pedi’s phone call to them, and asked if we were the parents with the 6 day old.

They whisked him away as we followed. He was so tiny on such a large stretcher, I felt and was helpless. The ped ER team was amazing. He had a nurse or doctor at every extremity doing something or collecting blood. He had every test done on him. We ended up being admitted to the Pediatric ICU.

Disappointment is nothing compared to what my husband and I felt. We chose to go home for a bit of sleep and knew he was in great hands. I had a pump and started pumping as soon as we got home. We got up feeling better and chose to go to church before heading back up to the hospital.

On our way to church we got a call from the PICU asking for consent to give blood products and that our little one was in liver failure and could go into DIC and die at any time.

The feelings….. anger, sadness, disbelief, hatred, everything you can think of….. they were all felt at that moment. We took the turn to the hospital and all I could think was how could this be happening and that it wasn’t fair.

We got to the hospital and our little one looked fine, with the exception of having 3 IVs and wires to the cardiac and respiratory monitors. He had several more test ran on him, including a spinal tap, they couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. We met with a several specialist including a hematologist (hemophilia runs on my mother’s side of the family) and a gastroenterologist, who told me to continue to breastfeed and supplement as needed because he didn’t think whatever was going on was caused by my breastmilk.

Fast-forwarding a bit, we were transferred out of the PICU to the pediatric floor, which was short-lived. Our pediatricians wanted to transfer us to Birmingham Children’s hospital, however we had requested to be transferred to Vanderbilt since we knew people in the area that would be willing to let us stay with them.

Unfortunately, Vanderbilt would not take us in case a liver transplant was needed. The same afternoon my husband received a call from our pediatrician while I was bottle-feeding pumped breast milk. Without any words or hesitations my husband reaches over and pulls the bottle out of my hands and our little one’s mouth. He got off the phone quickly and then told myself and our family what was going on.

Our pediatrician called to stop all breastfeeding and formula feeding immediately because he had just received the preliminary report from the State Newborn Screening that our little boy had Galactosemia. I can honestly say I had no clue what that was.

We started looking at the internet trusted medical sites my doctor-father-in-law and nurse-brother were able to get to. We learned some basic important information very quickly; Galactosemia is an inherited genetic disorder, in which the body doesn’t produce the enzyme to break down the simple sugar galactose, which is one of the simple sugars that lactose breaks down in to. I couldn’t keep from crying, it was all I could do. I was heartbroken that I couldn’t breastfeed and even more that my son had something wrong with him and I felt that I had caused it. To top it off soy-based formula was brought to me right after being told all of this news.

We transferred to the NICU at Children’s Hospital in Birmingham that night. By the time we got down there it was very late but we went to the NICU to visit and see where our little boy had been taken. We had to wear gloves and gowns for days anytime we visited him. He had more IVs and a central line put in. He wasn’t allowed to feed to allow his gut and liver time to rest and heal, he was given everything through his central line and IVs. My boy was getting everything he needed! We were very blessed by having to go to Children’s Hospital since the geneticists and nutritionist we would end up following up with was there.

While at Children’s we received our official confirmation for Classic Galactosemia from some genetic testing that was collected. Feedings were resumed after about 3 days with soy-based formula. Improvements were made each day in labs, weight, and general condition. We were finally discharged after 6 days. We were given plenty of soy-based formula by our nurses and nutritionist to last over a month. We had the support we needed to move forward.

Why is this story here for Breastfeeding week?

My experience changed my view of breastfeeding and how I thought.

Before my son was born, I couldn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t breastfeed their child. Now, I don’t question the choice to formula feed. I HAD to do it and my son is a healthy, smart, energetic, almost 3 year old.

While I still think and believe that breastfeeding gives a child everything he or she needs, it is still a mother’s choice to do so.

I use this experience to help new mothers and share quite often. I support the mother in her choice to breastfeed or bottle-feed and in some cases to let them know supplementation is not the end of breastfeeding.

Though my breastfeeding only lasted 10 days, I wanted more. I will stand by a mother’s bed assisting in positioning, helping ensure proper latch-on is achieved, and encouraging the mother to aid in a good start to breastfeeding for them. I want mothers to feel comfortable and at ease when I leave them and they leave the hospital, as well as for them to know they can call for help if needed.

I love my job as a mother and nurse, and am blessed to do what I do. If I am able to breastfeed with the next child I have, I will, if not it won’t be as big of a let down, pun intended, as the first time. I hope to continue to help new mothers and experienced mothers with for many years to come.

Breast is best, happy breastfeeding!

 

If you have a story you’d like to share, please go to https://www.facebook.com/AdaptiveMom and leave it for me in a message by August, 6 2013. After that date, feel free to share your own stories in the comments below. Thanks!

WBW 2013: No Story Stands Alone part 4

The Big Latch On Event and Nursing in Public (NIP)

 944597_551143608280973_515687137_n

August 3, 2013 was a first for me, I attended my first public breastfeeding event…oh, how far I’ve come…

As a new mom, I was proud to nurse, but struggled to even use the term “breastfeeding” (what a weenie, I know). Somewhere between only nursing shrouded in my van and breastfeeding in the park with over 30 mamas plus dads, grandmas, supporters, photographers, and kiddos…I became comfortable with my body and it’s purpose of nourishing my babies.

I have nursed in a zoo (a public one, not just my home), in church services, parks, shops, and even while working an Essante Organics booth.

I’ve learned that if I can wear my baby, I can feed him.

For me, NIP was more about accessibility than anything else. I rely on my Boppy to position and hold my baby in order to breastfeed while seated and standing holding baby one handed is out of the question. However, once I became comfortable wearing my baby, nursing while standing and walking was a breeze.

The Big Latch On event was an amazing opportunity to meet other mamas and babies of all comfort levels and in different places in their breastfeeding journeys. From a new mom to a tandem nursing mama…we were all on the same path. Each with unique goals, but a single purpose. To give our babies the best start possible and promote the normalization of breastfeeding.

The complete gallery of pictures may be viewed at 5thMonday.com

Where’s the coolest place you’ve ever breastfed your little one?

Laura F.

My public breastfeeding story:
I was a new mother with a 2 month old baby. Since I live hours away from my nearest relatives, I decided to fly to NJ with the baby to see my family for my grandmother’s 80th birthday.

After a difficult first month of breastfeeding, I finally got the hang of it and was excited and nervous to be breastfeeding in public for the first time. I bought a cover, packed my bags, and left.

The first time I fed her, I went to a secluded part of the airport so no one was near me. When I was at the Memphis airport though, no such luck.

An older gentleman sat right down next to me and started a conversation. I was sitting there thinking, “Oh no, can’t this guy just go so I can feed my baby in peace?” but he kept on talking – about breastfeeding! Mainly about how he rarely sees anyone doing it anymore, even though his wife breastfed their children. And how he was so glad that people still were breastfeeding.

It was quite an experience. It made me feel more empowered, and less embarrassed about feeding my child in public (which shouldn’t be embarrassing).

Breastfeeding support in the form of a 60 something stranger!

 

Deb G.

Not too long ago we went to out to get some pizza. Baby was sleeping so we took her in the car seat into the restaurant. (not a common practice for us as we tend to baby wear instead.) I knew she’d be awake soon so I was trying to determine what position would be most comfortable to nurse while in the booth. As I often do, I scanned the restaurant to see if there were any creepers in the area. I don’t mind nursing in public, but I do mind skeevy creepers and peepers. For some reason I felt it would be better to use my cover. I am not well practiced at using the cover since I find it more trouble than benefit.

She woke before I could formulate my plan. I quickly covered and attempted to get her latched on. In the process she got very mad very quickly. I abandoned the cover idea. I pulled the cover off, pulled my shirt down, walked over to a table, grabbed a chair, brought it back to the booth and proceeded to get in a better position to nurse. We both got happy, she stopped crying and mealtime was completed. When I stoop up I discovered that in my short journey to collect the chair my nipple had leaked, a lot.

Moral of the story, just nurse how it’s most comfortable and be ready the first time. Trying a technique you’re not used to while in a public setting just doesn’t pay off for anyone.

 

If you have a story you’d like to share, please go to https://www.facebook.com/AdaptiveMom and leave it for me in a message by August, 6 2013. After that date, feel free to share your own stories in the comments below. Thanks!

WBW 2013: No Story Stands Alone part 3

wbw2013-flower-color

Crystal E.

In 1980 I was born 2 months early and was in an incubator 2.5 hours from where my parents lived for 2 months. My mother was unable to breastfeed but many of the mothers in the hospital at the time heard my story and donated their breast milk. I thought it was so gross the first time I heard about it when I was younger. However, after learning about the benefits of breast milk and breastfeeding my own daughter, I think it’s pretty neat!

 

Jennifer E.

I am a Registered Nurse so I’ve seen plenty of boobs and nursing babies, but in the context of my own BF journey I wasn’t personally aware of its significance until I went to a Le Leche League meeting while I was pregnant and saw how comfortable those moms were.

 

Momma in Bama:

My breastfeeding story…
I breastfed both of my children. Sixteen years ago, I was a new young mom who, with support from my mom and mother-in-law decided to breastfeed. For me it came pretty naturally. What scared me the most was the prospect of pumping at work. Back then, I worked at a daycare. To my surprise, my employer was very accommodating to my need to pump for my son. Six years later, I had my daughter. When I returned to work as a teacher, the administration at my school was supportive as well, finding a time and place for me to pump.

As a working mom, there is a certain amount of guilt that I felt. I wanted to what was best for my babies by breastfeeding, but was unsure of how my employers would receive my request to pump in the workplace. My employers supported my decision to breastfeed my babies, and adapted so that I was able to supply my babies with the best food for them. Support at home is critical, but support in the workplace is just as important.

 

Rona S.

My daughter was born last November just after Thanksgiving. She latched perfectly the first day, but after the second day, she was not latching normally and would not open her mouth wide enough. The third day (the day we left the hospital), I requested to see a lactation consultant. She visited with me, and gave some helpful tips. However, when we went home, it was hit or miss with getting a good latch.

When she was five days old, I started pumping because I wasn’t sure she was getting enough milk. Later that evening, she was so hungry that she refused to latch, so we introduced a bottle of breast milk. After that, she would latch one to three times a day, and the rest of the time I would give her my milk in a bottle.

I was so upset that breastfeeding didn’t come natural to us. I woke up on the seventh day crying, and asked my husband to call the lactation consultant, as I couldn’t even mention breastfeeding without crying. We saw her a few days later, and she provided some information and suggestions. She was so supportive, nice, and understanding. She focused on the positive that even though latching was an issue, at least I was still able to give her my milk in a bottle. After that meeting, we would have good days and bad.

My husband was so great. He would feed her a bottle in the middle of the night while I pumped, so I could go back to sleep without having to do double duty. He would also prepare a small bottle and have it ready for me to give our daughter, so she wouldn’t be as hungry when I offered her the breast again. He is in the Army and had to go away for training for a few days when my daughter was three weeks old. I was nervous having to do everything by myself for a few days as we were still having latching issues, so I decided to go ahead and exclusively pump until he returned.

After he returned, I waited a few more days to allow myself to heal before offering the breast again. When she turned four weeks old, I attempted to breastfeed, and she finally latched! Occasionally she would give a bad latch after that, and I had major oversupply, so I had to continue pumping. However, we were successfully breastfeeding! I was so glad that I had plenty of support, so I could focus on taking it one day at a time in those early days.

My daughter is now eight months old and still breastfeeding. I’m planning to continue as long she wants. I encourage any soon to be new moms who are interested in breastfeeding to attend a local LLL meeting, find out if their hospital has a lactation consultant, and attend any breastfeeding classes if any are available. It is not always easy, but being knowledgeable about it and finding supportive resources in your area in advance is beneficial so you won’t have to do research when you’re trying to take care of a newborn.

 

If you have a story you’d like to share, please go to https://www.facebook.com/AdaptiveMom and leave it for me in a message by August, 6 2013. After that date, feel free to share your own stories in the comments below. Thanks!

WBW 2013: No Story Stands Alone part 2

baby-rainbow-fingers

Ollie’s Mom:

I am the mother of an amazing little superhero named Oliver. After three years of fertility treatments, he came into our world in January of 2013. While I was pregnant, I did what everybody does: read What to Expect When You’re Expecting cover to cover, ordered Old Navy maternity clothes and got excited about breastfeeding. I mean, it was a win-win. Free, awesome vitamins and nutrients for him, weight loss for me. Score! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed my baby. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not one of those vegan-don’t you dare eat preservatives-all organic types. Not even close. I never even thought about natural childbirth. I am not that bad-ass. I was willing to do street drugs if the situation called for it (no, not really…well, maybe). But, I thought, the least I could do, would be to give my little boy a good start in life with the best nutrition God invented.

My journey began on January 22, 2013 at 5:00am. The day before, my wife and I had decided, with guidance from our doctor, that because of the positioning of Oliver, a C-section would be our best option. I arrived at the hospital nervous, but ready to meet my baby. The surgery went great and it turned out that we had made a good decision to go with the c-section because the umbilical cord was wrapped around Oliver’s neck three times and my doctor said it could have caused complications if he had been a vaginal delivery. Wow, I was already making great decisions and I had only been a mother for a few minutes! After the doctors closed me up, I was reunited with my wife and son in the recovery room. At first, he didn’t want the boob, which the nurses said was totally normal. Later, in my room, the nurse helped me with several different positions. After many, many attempts, the “football hold” seemed to work best for little Ollie. But, it was hard for him to latch on. I was given several plastic nipple shields, which actually did seem to help some, but they would fall off easily and they were hard to place on the nipple properly. Still, I felt like he was doing great that first day. The second day wasn’t so great. He was getting more and more frustrated, and so was I. Have I mentioned a lactation consultant yet? Oh, yeah, that’s because there wasn’t one until late into day two. And, she only stayed a few minutes. Now, I take my part of the blame on this one. Looking back, I should have asked more questions and made her watch me with him. But, shouldn’t she suggest these things too?

Day three, or as I like to call it, THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE, started off with a bang. In the midst of the audiologist coming in to do a hearing screen, dietary asking me what I wanted to eat, and a crying baby, the nurse tells me that my son has a fever and that he might not be getting enough to eat. She says we will have to supplement his intake with formula. Homie, say what? What the hell? I am BREASTFEEDING. The pediatrician agreed with the nurse. I was a tired, hot mess of a mama and so, against my better judgment; I gave him the bottle of formula. It was downhill from there. Any time I tried to give him the boob, he would cry. With the bottle, he did great. This is when I learned the term, “nipple confusion.” And, I can totally see how it happens. That night, we sent Oliver to the nursery for one hour so that we could get just a little sleep. While he was there, they gave him a pacifier. So, now this kid has been introduced to a total of four nipple or nipple-like structures (me, the shield, the bottle and the pacifier). Have I mentioned a breast pump? No? Oh yeah, that’s because no one mentioned it to me until day three of my hospital stay. We had bought one, but were told not to worry about bringing it. We were told the hospital would provide one. Well, in our haze of being new mothers and all of the craziness, we didn’t think to ask for one. And no one mentioned it until the PRN night nurse

came in on day three. I don’t know if this is common, but she seemed quite upset that I didn’t already have this going. My last day in the hospital, a fabulous lactation consultant came in to see me. She spent most of the day with me and made me feel a whole lot better about the situation. Alas, when I got home, Oliver and I continued to struggle. No matter how much I pumped or how much he cried in frustration, there was little to no milk to be found. Everyone kept saying, “It’s ok. Sometimes it just doesn’t work.” That didn’t make me feel better. This is the most fundamental thing a mother should be able to do for her child, and I couldn’t. Finally, after two weeks of losing to the bottle, I put up the white flag. If I didn’t have post-partum depression before then, I sure did afterwards.

I still feel guilty even though Oliver is now a happy, healthy, six month old. He’s doing great, but I can’t help but replay those first two weeks in my brain. What could I have done differently? Said no to the bottle? Researched breastfeeding more? Met with a lactation consultant beforehand? I don’t know. I had endured the gamut of fertility treatments, including Clomid, Follistim, Femara and the HCG shot. I also have a blood clotting disorder, known as Factor V Leiden. This disorder causes your blood to clot more than it should, and with any surgery the risk of blood clots increases. Since I had a C-section, I was required to take daily Lovenox shots for a month after Oliver was born. Could any of this reduced my milk production? I don’t know. And what are the long-term effects of formula use? I can’t bear to Google it.

What I do know is that even though I had an awesome physician at a top-notch hospital, I feel like I was failed in this area. There cannot be too much education about breastfeeding. I feel like it should start at the first meeting with the doctor and not end until the mother says it can end. I hope to have at least one more child. I hope I can give the boob another go and this time, and you can bet your last bag of street drugs I won’t leave that hospital until I’ve got this breastfeeding game down.

If you have a story you’d like to share, please go to https://www.facebook.com/AdaptiveMom and leave it for me in a message by August, 6 2013. After that date, feel free to share your own stories in the comments below.

WBW 2013: No Story Stands Alone part 1

wbw2013-logo-h3

August 1-7, 2013 is World Breastfeeding Week! The theme this year is Breastfeeding Support: Close to Mothers

To celebrate, I will be sharing breastfeeding stories from different folks who were brave enough to share their adventures. Several of these stories have impacted my own breastfeeding journey.

 No story stands alone

I would pretty much guarantee that if you’re a parent…you’ve heard at least one breastfeeding story. Was it a positive account or a nightmare? Did it make you laugh or cry? How did that story affect your decision to breastfeed or no to breastfeed?

Our stories become a web, each story influencing another, and another. We are all intertwined.

From our first time witnessing breastfeeding to the grandmother telling her grandchildren how she nursed their mother or father, it all impacts our perceptions and decisions.

My Story:

My breastfeeding story began long before the birth of my first child. It began the 1st time I witnessed a friend breastfeed. As an only child, I never watched a sibling nurse and I really don’t recall any exposure to breastfeeding before that day. I was 19 and in aw at her strength and perseverance as she nursed her son and continued to do so even after she returned to work and school. Her story enlightened me to new possibilities.

About 10 years later, I sat in the hospital room with another friend as she struggled to help her daughter to latch. She tried so hard to breastfeed that precious baby, but without proper support, her stress became too great and she made the decision to transition to formula. It was heartbreaking to watch her suffer so greatly and later second-guess her decision to wean. Her story inspired me to learn and now counsel others.

While I was for the preparing for the birth of my first child, I decided to learn as much as I could about this breastfeeding gig I was getting myself into.

As an adaptive mom, I wasn’t sure I’d even be able to figure things out one handed, but I wanted to try. I had fears of having of one huge boob and one tiny one if I were only able to nurse on one side. I took the breastfeeding course at the hospital and asked for a lactation consultant in my birth plan. I was determined to try.

Day one: C-section, puking, chills, pain, more puking, and a lot of separation from my daughter. Not the best start, but I had a friend familiar with breastfeeding at my side and between heaves; she’d help me get my daughter to my breast. Luckily, my daughter was a born Hoover and took to nursing quickly. The lactation consultant gave us the thumbs up and went on her way.

Day two: Shower, Physical therapy, visitors, and cracks! This time the lactation consultant gave me these bizarre bowl looking things with holes in them and instructed me to place them over my nipples between feedings to allow air to circulate (somehow this should be possible through the globs of lanolin I was also using) and heal the cracks.

Day three: Milk came in with a vengeance cracks and all!

Night shift day three into day four: Those bizarre bowl like things “airing out” my boobs didn’t allow all of my milk ducts to drain causing blockages on both sides…and a very hungry and fussy baby.

Fortunately, I had the most amazing nurse that evening. She shared her story with me of her personal experience with blockages then dashed off to find a pump and some warm compresses. She stayed with me the entire night and even checked on me after her shift was over. If it had not been for her empathy and support, my breastfeeding relationship with my daughter might have ended before I ever left the hospital. Her story encouraged me to fight and continue breastfeeding.

The cracks and discomfort continued for about 2 months until my daughter corrected the latch herself…yes, I was positioning her to latch incorrectly all that time. Once I got out of the way and allowed her to do what she was born knowing how to do…no more pain.

We nursed for about 15 months when she just seemed to lose interest and I chose not to push the issue. My goals were met.

Things got off to a smoother start with my son. Live and learn, right?

However, we received a lot of pressure from the hospital to give him formula to help flush his system and lower his bilirubin levels. Both of my babies suffered with jaundice, as many babies do, and this was the first I’d heard of using formula as a “treatment”.  His levels continued to rise and they had to place him under the lights. In order for my son to spend adequate time under the lights, I had to pump and was only allowed to nurse him every 3-4 hours. I pumped all I could, but in the end caved and gave him the formula mixed with my milk. This decision was traumatic for this lactivist mother to say the least, but again I was blessed with an amazing nurse who’d been in similar shoes and she helped me through the long night without my son. Her story kept me sane and showed me that I was not alone.

I continued to nurse my son (11 months and counting) and he had no difficulty transitioning back to exclusive breastfeeding after that night.

We still hit bumps in the road from time to time, but I’ve found an excellent support system and I hope to continue to breastfeed until my son is ready to wean.

 So that’s my story in a nutshell.

It’s all about exposure (pun intended). By sharing our stories and experiences, we can help others set and reach their own breastfeeding goals, then their stories will in turn influence and inspire others and so on…a chain reaction, of sorts.

So check back each day this week as I share new and inspiring stories. Hopefully, some of these stories will empower you or someone you share them with.

If you have a story you’d like to share, please go to https://www.facebook.com/AdaptiveMom and leave it for me in a message by August, 6 2013. After that date, feel free to share your own stories in the comments below. Thanks!

Babies and Language

68272_10151252570649323_1999409845_n

A dear friend of mine is from Ukraine and she and her husband primarily speak Russian in their home. Since her children are close in age to my own (and we enjoy the same vintage of red wine), we have frequent play dates. As a nerdy Speech-Language Pathologist mama, I can’t even begin to tell you how cool it has been to watch my daughter and her son play as they were both learning to communicate. My daughter spoke English and he a mixture of tones and sounds with some words tossed in here and there. As a mom I had no idea what they were “talking” about, but they never seemed to miss a beat in their communication.

As I began to research for this post, I realized how truly remarkable their early communication really was.

An article on LiveScience.com entitled How Bilingual Babies Keep Languages Separate, reported that “bilingual tots use qualities like pitch and duration of sounds to keep two languages separate”.

Studies show that infants and toddlers who grow up in bilingual homes often mix the two languages they hear in their home. Even babbling babies have been noted to babble differently according to the language of their communication partner (Johnstone, 2004). This is called code-switching.

Check out this amazing video of a baby using German with Papa until the moment he sees his Mama and switches to Japanese.

Ganishi (1975) found that 4 to 6-year old children consistently applied the situational rule that they speak the language their listener knew best. Other studies have noted this code-switching as early as 3 years old!

A helpful article in understanding bilingual babies was in The New York Times entitled Hearing Bilingual: How Babies Sort out Language by Perri Klass, M.D.

Here are a few key points from this article:

  • Researchers found that at 6 months, infants who were raised in a single language home could tell the difference between spoken sounds, whether they were spoken in the language the infants were used to hearing or in another language not spoken in their homes. By 10 to 12 months, however, the babies from single language homes were no longer detecting sounds in the second language, only in the language they usually heard.
  • The bilingual infants developed differently. At 6 to 9 months, they did not recognize the differences in spoken sounds in either language, but at 10 to 12 months — they were able to tell the difference between sounds in both languages.
  • “…babies born to bilingual mothers not only prefer both of those languages over others — but are also able to register that the two languages are different.”
  • “bilingual children develop crucial skills in addition to their double vocabularies, learning different ways to solve logic problems or to handle multitasking, skills that are often considered part of the brain’s so-called executive function [i.e. planning, working memory, attention, problem solving, etc].”
  • bilingual babies are “more cognitively flexible”

So what about kids from homes where only one language is spoken?

How can we help our kids stay “cognitively flexible” like the babies from bilingual homes?

Jeanette Vos Ed.D. wrote an excellent, well researched article in Earlychildhood News entitled Can Preschool Children Be Taught a Second Language?

Here are some of the key concepts and quotes from that article:

  • “During the first six months of life, babies babble using 70 sounds that make up all the languages in the world.”
  • “…during the first few years of life, children form their main learning pathways in the brain.”
  • The ideal time to learn a 2nd language is the between ages of 3 and 4
  • Learning a language is natural for children through play and exploration
  • “Children growing up in a well-rounded environment learn to speak at least 2,000 basic words by the time they are four years old.”
  • “…learning a second language [in the preschool years] is as easy as learning the first.”
  • A child’s brain is a “super-sponge” up to the age of 12

The other day I noticed some unfamiliar sounds coming from my daughter’s iPad. When I asked her what she was watching, she replied, “The Little Mermaid”. Baffled, I took a look for myself. Sure enough, she was watching The Little Mermaid…in Russian!

There are tons of resources to expose children to other languages. There are bilingual children’s books, videos, play dates with bilingual families, and even some preschools incorporate an introduction to a second language in their curriculum.

In our home, we practice counting in other languages while friends and family expose my children to other languages and cultures. My mother-in-law is from Vietnam and happily teaches the kids important words and phrases in Vietnamese when she visits. My dad picked up a few words and phrases in German and French while traveling for work and incorporates them into playtime. It’s just that simple.

Learning another language doesn’t need to be a structured daily exercise. When kids are young, their brains are like little sponges. Take advantage of every opportunity provide them a well-rounded environment for learning. Perhaps you may even learn a second language yourself alongside your child! They may not become fluent in a second language by the age of 3, but you will be helping them maintain their “cognitive flexibility” and laying a solid groundwork for them to learn another language when they are ready.

Do you speak more than one language in your home? If not, are you teaching your kids a second language?

References:

Genishi, C. S., (1976). Rules for Code-Switching in Young Spanish-English Speakers: An Exploratory Study of Language Socialization. Dissertation.