Tag Archives: kids

Juggling Act

Juggling Act

Things have been NUTS around here lately…good nuts, but nuts nonetheless.
My kids have birthday parties to attend every weekend (We refer to October-November as the birthday gauntlet…9 months after Valentines Day…go figure ;-)); my at home business is BOOMING; I’m drowning in laundry, housekeeping, blogging, Christmas shopping, church, cooking (ok, so we’ve been microwaving…a lot); I’m struggling to make time for family; and looming over me are the tasks of maintaining professional certifications and working on new ones. Whew! I’ll admit, I’ve felt the need to spike my hot coco on more than one occasion.
They say that we must find balance in life, but how in the heck am I supposed to balance all that is required of me and what does balance really look like?

“The ingredients of both darkness and light are equally present in all of us,…The madness of this planet is largely a result of the human being’s difficulty in coming to viruous balance with himself. ”
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

“My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.”
Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously… I’m Kidding

Well, here’s my two cents on the matter…
Balance in life (and especially in motherhood) should look like a juggling act.

Juggling is a physical skill involving the manipulation of objects for recreation, entertainment or sport [or survival in our case]…Juggling can be the manipulation of one object or many objects at the same time, using one or many hands…-Wikipedia

This mom seems to have a great grasp on the concept 😉

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-ioJuBy58U

We must juggle family, relationships, obligations, and fun. At no point will we be able to devote equal attention across the board. Rather, at any given moment, one aspect will take priority while the others get shuffled around beneath our line of site (on autopilot). Sometimes, we may have 2 or 3 things balancing in mid air, but they won’t stay there and our only hope is that we don’t “drop the ball” and allow everything to come crashing down.

“What goes up must come down.” -Isaac Newton

These tips for performance jugglers can easily apply to “parenthood jugglers”:

  • Relax, and keep practicing.  Take time for yourself, read a book, meet with other moms, learn something new.
  • Take your time. Don’t throw the second ball until the first one peaks. Try not to take on too much at once. Limit kids activities so you still have time to connect as a family. 
  • Let the balls come to you. Don’t reach up to catch them. I LOVE this one! Sometimes we are so worried about the next thing on our to-do list that we lose site of the task at hand…guilty *hand raised*
  • Watch the point where the balls peak. This is the moment when the majority of your attention will be focused on a single task (it’s ok, I promise). This focus may last 5 minutes or a few days, but it’s worth it and will help you feel a sense of accomplishment. This is also where most mamas, including myself, feel the most off balance…and guilt.
  • Concentrate on keeping the throws close to you. Prioritize your family and keep them close.
  • Try starting with the other hand for a while. If you have a partner, ask them to take over a few tasks when you get overwhelmed.
  • Juggling is 70% mental and 30% physical. Plan, Strategize, Organize, Implement.
  • Pretend as if your hands don’t exist. Juggling becomes instinctive as you become skilled at the art form. Follow your instincts. Don’t over think and follow your heart.

Piece of cake, right 😉

So what happens when we lose our rhythm and must start over?

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
Marilyn Monroe

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
Albert Einstein

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”
Salvador Dalí

Simply stop, pick up the pieces, dust ourselves off, and start again. We all make mistakes. What’s important is that we recognize our short comings and learn from them. A child that watches a parent own up to their own flaws will learn to accept themselves and others.

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.” ― Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism

 “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” ― L.M. Montgomery

“Well, we all make mistakes, dear, so just put it behind you. We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us.”
L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea

What tasks are you currently juggling?

 

 

 

 

Embracing My Inner Monica

Ever have one of those days (weeks, months) where you can’t seem to catch up with where you’re supposed to be…chasing your own tail of sorts.

On days like those, parenting can be even harder. Let’s face it…what’s the REAL reason you are so far behind? YOU weren’t the one who needed an hour to eat half of a bowl of oatmeal. It’s not YOUR fault that the baby chose to blow out his diaper just as you’re headed out the door. The endless laundry isn’t even yours since you’ve been wearing the same peanut butter crusted shirt since Tuesday!

It seems that no matter how early or late we get started, the result is always the same…I am behind. I’m behind with laundry, I’m behind with cleaning, I haven’t caught up with friends in weeks, I can’t remember the last time I exercised, we’re always late getting places, I’m behind on planning for birthday’s and holidays…and “Thank You” notes have become a thing of the past.

So what’s the solution? No, really, I’m asking you…because I have no idea! What am I going to do when they start school? I swear all three of us will end up in detention for chronic tardiness.

I try to slow down so we can all enjoy the simple stuff and to be honest we just don’t plan many activities because I simply can’t handle the pressure.

I find myself saying “Hurry up, we’re going to miss ______!” (and kick myself for it every time). We ALL know that the phrase “Hurry up!” only makes children move slower…and what’s the point. We’ll still get to wherever it is we need to go and complete whatever task needs to be completed…eventually.

So why can’t I make myself stop stressing about getting things done and getting out the door?

Then there’s my drive to be Supermom…I know, I posted on this before…we’re all Supermom‘s in our own way, and I still believe that to be true…but I can’t help wanting to be the BEST at ALL of it!

I want to make and bake every cute and healthy thing I pin on Pintrest. I want my kids to actually eat the healthy stuff I make. I want to do educational activities with them everyday. I want to cuddle, snuggle, and giggle during every rainstorm. I want to be the BEST mom in the world…no, seriously…I want to win awards and trophies and stuff for my awesome efforts.

I wasn’t always this way. Something about having kids has brought out my inner “Monica”. I was more of a “Rachel” before kids. I was spoiled, messy, unorganized, and maybe a little self-centered. Now, I want things done a certain way and I want them done yesterday (Thankfully, I married a Chandler who continues to put up with me). Perhaps it’s because I’ve had to learn to adapt in entirely new ways as a differently-abled mom, but I suspect that I am not alone in my struggles and that many able-bodied mamas are experiencing a similar phenomenon.

For those of you who are not familiar with Friends (the greatest series to ever grace the TV screen) here’s how Wikipedia describes Monica:https://www.adaptivemom.net/embrassing-my-inner-monica/

“Neat Freak” Monica is comically obsessive about her apartment and loves cleaning (describing the dry cleaner as her Disneyland). This personality trait becomes exaggerated as the series progresses. Example of her maniac cleanliness are labeling cups, having sorted towels into eleven different categories (four mentioned being “everyday use”, “fancy”, “guest”, and “fancy guest”), and describing her new workplace as being “not just Health Department clean, but Monica clean.” She is also extremely territorial when it comes to cleaning, as shown when Chandler announced he’d hired a maid, and Monica snapped that she hoped he meant “mistress.”

Monica is highly competitive, allegedly throwing a plate in a fit of rage during a game of Pictionary. Also, during a game of Mad Libs, Monica dismissed Phoebe’s repetitive answers, claiming “rules help control the fun!”, causing everyone else to leave.

While I’m not that bad yet, I can certainly sympathize with a lot of the above.

Ever wonder why the series ended with Monica and Chandler adopting twins? Well the answer is simple, watching the character of Monica adapt to motherhood would not have been pretty. Seriously, after the first few weeks she would have been curled up in a corner chanting nonsense.

I wonder how I would have survived as a mom without my Monica tendencies. I know each new obsessive habit has evolved for a purpose. Without them, I may not ever make it out of the house in on piece, fully clothed, and mostly clean. I might not be able to accept the mama superpowers that I do indeed posses. You might possibly find ME curled up in a corner and chanting nonsense!

I have learned to embrace my inner Monica. Yes, I am what many might consider nuts from time to time, but I am also a functioning mother of 2. I am obsessive compulsive…about my kids…and I am an award winning mother in their eyes. What else matters?

If you were a TV character, who would you be? Has parenthood changed who you most identify with?