If you are blessed to have a daughter, never take for granted the magic of a tea party.

While I was pregnant with our second child, the pregnancy took such a toll on my body that I chose to resign from my job and become a full-time stay at home mom to our then 2 year old daughter. My husband and I had already planned to become a single income family once our son arrived, but my tough pregnancy sped things up a bit.

I’d hoped that this was going to be the perfect opportunity for me to enjoy the last months of our daughter’s “only child-hood”. I was preparing her to become a big sister, an experience as unfamiliar to me, an only child, as it was to her. I dreamed of tea parties, baking together, trips to the park and pool, dancing in the living room, and lots of arts and crafts. Instead, I uncomfortably settled into my glider and propped my huge puffy feet on my footstool for 3 months. The best I was able to offer for mommy daughter time was climbing into bed with her for naps. Unfortunately, these “naps” often consisted of me dozing off while she jumped and climbed all over me until she either got bored and fell asleep OR left the room and found trouble in another part of the house….but that’s another post all together.

My inability to interact with my daughter on her level, really took a toll on our relationship. She had always been a Daddy’s girl, but during that last trimester I felt lucky if she acknowledged my existence when my husband, a much preferred option, was available.

After our son was born…and I recovered…and I got a bit of rest…and we established a breastfeeding routine…and all the other challenges one must face with a new baby…my daughter and I were still having difficulty finding our bond again.

I had researched dozens of ways to best utilize spare moments with a new older sibling to help her feel connected and appreciated. As many of you know, even the best laid plans often fail with an active and independent preschooler…so I had to adapt.

One day it finally happened, I stopped planning (a difficult task for this type A mom) and started letting her lead. It was as simple as attending a tea party…literally. As we sat and sipped on our delicious invisible tea and crunched on our plastic tea cakes, all wrongs were slowly righted.

My son is now 7 months old and my daughter and I are closer than ever. In fact, she is snuggling with me on the couch as I write this. Maybe we’ll move from tea parties to blogging together someday. 😉